Someone wrote to me recently asking if they had any advice for getting out of a funk. You know the feeling – nothing seems to work out for you, you can’t seem to pull yourself up and get motivated to do something, you feel bored, lethargic, and sad. You don’t feel like anyone loves you.
I feel like this sometimes, too. So does my husband. We’re lucky, because we can always tell when the other person feels despondant, and we know just the thing to cheer that person up. Not everyone is so lucky to have someone around 24/7 helping them to stay happy, so here are 101 ideas for cheering yourself up. Lots of these ideas would be fun to do with a friend or lover, but they work just as well if you’re by your lonesome.
In bed. Just you, something (or someone) to snuggle, a laptop, notebook or sketchpad, some rad music, a good movie, and a hot cup of chocolate. It’s the perfect antidote for dreary weather or cancelled plans.
Buy one of those “make your own sushi” kits from the supermarket, and learn to roll your own little roundels of heaven. Once you get good at the traditional Western “chicken teriyaki”, experiment with kooky flavors. My favorite sushi is Avocado, Cream Cheese and Pinapple. No joke.
Eat your sushi sitting on the floor watching kung fu, Japanese horror, or a good ole-fashioned anime tentacle rape.
Buy a packet of ten postcards and send a note to your friends – even the ones you see every day. Tell them how awesome you think they are, and how much you love hanging out with them. Or, if you want to be less sappy, just quote some Manowar lyrics and tell them they smell. I even make heavy metal postcards for just this purpose!
You are going to a gig at the local metal bar. Bake a batch of cookies and bring them along to share. You have now made 50 new friends.
Find poems you like and hang them on your wall or write them on your diary. Every time I read words fitted together like an intricate puzzle, I feel like the whole world is magic. I really love the work of Catullus and Henry Wordsworth Longfellow and Richard Brautigen and Dean Koontz. Even old Aliester Crowley created remarkable imagery.
was the werewolf
in his evil forest.
We took him
to the carnival
and he started
when he saw
the Ferris wheel.
green and red tears
his furry cheeks.
like a boat
out on the dark
Create outifts of ridiculous clothes and accessories to do mundane tasks. Walk the dog in your bondage pants and Pantera shirt, vacuum the house in a tutu and high heels, buy milk at the store in nothing but a trenchcoat. (I’ll let you invent your own definition of “ridiculous”).
Learn a magic trick – it could be something a simple as a card trick or a slight-of-hand. Practise until you’re really good, and delight your friends next time you see them. Don’t give away your secret.
Buy a packet of glow-in-the-dark stick-on stars (you know the ones). Sneak into a friends house while they’re away, and decorate the ceiling of their room. They probably won’t notice till they turn off their light.
Watch a DVD of one of your favorite stand-up comedians. If you don’t have a favorite stand-up comedian, I suggest you get one! Here be my favorites: Dylan Moran, Ed Bryne, Eddie Izzard, Flight of the Conchords.
Make a canopy and coronet for your bed. Go to the fabric store and choose luxurious fabrics – chintz and brocade and lace and satin – in your favorite colours. Gather them on the ceiling and tie them to the corners of your bed. You can attach curtain rods to the ceiling to create a dramatic canopy. If you have any leftover fabric, make a few simple pillows to match. You are now a princess.
Wear a paper hat. You don’t have to stick to the simple boat-shape. Why not design a paper bowler hat, beret or top hat? I have a mini-top hat with a flower I made entirely from Braille paper, which I do wear out on occasion (I shall find a picture)
Go to one of those hippy shops and buy yourself something weird – a homeopath treatment or some incense or a dreamcatcher or a reiki massage or whatever they’re got on offer. Hell, what have you got to lose?
Run yourself a bath. Gather together all your exquisite bathroom pampering treatments – all the luscious soaps and decadent shower gels you haven’t opened because they’re “special” and you don’t want to use them up. Open them all. Use them all. Take the phone off the hook, put up a do-not-disturb sign, pour yourself a glass of wine or mead, put on some relaxing music, and read a book, or stare at the ceiling.
Blow bubbles. You can buy little jars of bubble mixture at those $2 shops, or make a simple bubble mixture at home using dishwashing liquid, water, and sugar or corn syrup. TIP: Storing your solution for a day can actually lead to better bubbles.
I never forget the thrill of a kite soaring through the sky, tugging at the string in a desperate attempt to be free. Some shops rent kites – CDH and I rented one from a shop on the Gold Coast once, but you’d have to google your area to find out where they are. Better yet, make your own kite.
Find one of those treasure-trove fabric and trimming shops with hundreds of bits of old lace and rooms of buttons and bins of fabric offcuts. Set yourself a budget – say, $15, and find a mad ensemble of items. Take them home and decorate a hat, headband, bag, necklace or bag.
Invite someone over for a midnight snack – someone who makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts. Eat nachos from the plate together and giggle. Last night, CDH and I stayed up late watching old favorites from our DVD collection and eating apple and rhubarb crumble. We caught the Simpsons – it was one of the newer episodes where Grandpa drags the family to Ireland and Homer ends up buying an Irish pub, which they subsequently turn into a smokeasy. The programme ends, as the Simpsons stints abroad tend to do, with Homer on trial. Chief Wiggan turns up to escort the Simpsons home. Therin follows a hilarious sequence where Chief Wiggam hits himself in the eye while twirling his baton, then tries to soothe the bruise with mace, then somehow manages to taser himself, and of course, once you start tasering yourself, you actually can’t stop. For some reason, this got CDH – he could not stop laughing. He rolled around for awhile and gave himself the hiccups. It was hilarious.
Wear a suspender belt with stockings. All day, every day. Even if your a guy.
Wear bells around your ankles. You can buy ankle bells at medieval markets. I love them, although you can never sneak up behind someone to surprise them.
Go to a shop like “Lush” and spend some time smelling everything. Then buy yourself a little treat. Many people like to buy incredible handmade soap from Etsy – I don’t, because I live in NZ and the shipping makes it horrendously expensive. Plus you loose out on the smelling – the smelling is the important part.
You should drink water more often – it’s good for you and makes you feel happy. But it should also be fun. Buy yourself a water bottle – not one of those one-use plastic ones, but something grymm, like a stainless steel masterpiece or a skull-shaped bottle. Or find yourself a beautiful vintage glass bottle and use that. I bet you’ll feel like a pirate!
Quote Shakespeare at inappropriate moments. If you’ve never developed an appreciation for Shakespeare, it’s never too late to pick up a copy of Richard III or a Midsummer Night’s Dream. Or why not go against the grain and read some Ben Johnson or Thomas Marlowe instead? They were bloody good, too.
If you really, really can’t understand the modern english, read Aristophanes – an ancient greek comic writer. He’s hilarious. Seriously, laugh out loud funny, especially if you have a passing knowledge of ancient greek culture and mythology. Try the Lysistrata, a play about a group of wives who are desperate to stop the war between Athens and Sparta and bring their husbands home to sleep with them – so desperate, they declare a SEX STRIKE until the war is over. Hilarity Ensues.
Buy or make an amazing gift – like a mix CD of your favorite songs or a beautiful box of chocolates – and wrap it in a bix box with a pretty ribbon. Give it a tag saying “to you”, and place it in the middle of the sidewalk outside your window. Watch how long it takes before someone picks it up.
Change your passwords on your email, your bank, your paypal account, everything, to words that make you smile. Banana, elocution, evisceration, duped, muggle, flippant, pumpkmen, snooty, sneed, salacious … the possibilities are endless!
Find a playground in your area. Swing on the swings. Better yet, if you have a backyard with a tree, build a swing for yourself. I find all the world’s problems can be solved by a little swing-time.
If you’re afraid of something, tell yourself you actually love it. I’ve found if you tell yourself something often enough, eventually you’ll believe it. I used to be afraid of thunderstorms, until I started telling myself I loved them: the epic display of nature’s prowess, the anticipation of waiting for thunder, that feeling of being warm and safe inside. Now I love them.
Go and see a play. No, not a movie. An actual display of live theatre. You can find descriptions of plays on theatre websites – local productions cost about the same as a movie ticket, and they often give student discounts.
You could travel even further from the norm and try the ballet. I went to the ballet once, and loved it, although it was a production of Dracula. The costumes … sigh! We are organising tickets for Sweeny Todd in June, another exciting outing for our friends. We’re hoping to go to dinner somewhere that makes pies.
I also went to the opera once, in Greece. The greek opera – sung in Italian with Greek subtitles. There were two operas on in the one night, because neither was the length of a full opera (operattes?) The second was a traditional story (my expert opera-attending buddy tells me) but the first … well, there was a man trapped in a cell with a maid singing to him while she swept the floor. The curtains at the back opened and he had a conversation with some hooded figures. His guards came and sung to him then left him alone. He sang and sang and the lights went down and the music swelled and his cell door creaked over, revealing … a pot plant. Yes. A pot plant. He picked the pot plant up and held it and caressed it and a guard came in and he shot the guard, and I don’t remember what happened after that, except I bet there was more singing.
Compile a list of all the people in the world you want to meet – all the amazing artists, writers, musicians, actors, thinkers, dreamers and activists who’ve inspired you over the years.
Start emailing them and making contact. Tell them everything you’d want to tell them in real life – how they touched your life and inspired your own creativity, which of their works had the greatest impact on you, what you think of their latest project. Ask their opinion on matters concerning the world and point them in the direction of your own work. You never know, you might even get a reply.
There’s something very peaceful about reading a book under a tree, or while sitting on a wooden bench in a deserted rose garden.
I lived in Auckland for four and a half years before I joined the public library, and, although I had access to the university library, I regret my sojurn from fiction books. Now, I work right next door to the library, and I’m reading a book or two every week. Plus, you can use the itnernet there for free, and they run fun events and readings and competitions.
Stop watching TV for a week. Unplug the modem. Live in the real world totally and utterly for a week. Sometimes I feel as though we live too much of our life online, and we make contacts, but no real connections. Get out into the world and experience RL for a week – if nothing else, you’ll have something interesting to write about when you get back to your blog.
The very act of focusing your thoughts into a hiaku relaxes and empowers you. (For those of you who don’t know, a hiaku is style of japanese poetry: the first line has 5 syllables, the second line 7, and the third line 5. Write all your emails in hiaku.
I bet you keep your money in a plain leather wallet, don’tchya? Well, find something cooler. What about this fleur-de-lys Stone Hinged wallet? Or this Steampunk Gear leather wallet? Or a gothic cigarette tin wallet?
Think of your favorite food at your favorite restuarant. Now, scour the internet and all the fancy cookbooks for a likely recipe. Buy all the fresh ingredients and attempt to make your fave dish at home. You probably won’t succeed, but you might come up with something even nicer, or, at the very least, a new appreciation of the skill of your favorite chef.
I love this tofu pad thai gai at the Thai restuarant across the road from my office, but I cannot find a recipe that comes even close to it’s deliciousness. It doesn’t help I have no concept of what to do with tofu.
Buy a weird plant and take care of it. By weird, I mean a deadly nightshade or venus flytrap or sarracenia or nepenthes. Check out this gothic garden livejournal community for more ideas.
I’ve always loved the tinkle of winchimes and crystals. I lined the entire length of my window in my room at my folk’s house with various chimes – ceramic bells I strung up with beads, clear crystals that sparkle in the sun, blown glass droplets which make an incredible sound when they clink together, a ceramic wind chime, dreamcatchers, african animals with bells … it’s so colorful and cheery.
During my second year of uni, a friend and I embarked on an important and dangerous mission: to banish those horrid words “like” and “totally” from our everyday vocab, when used as a sentence filler “You’re like totally kidding me?” or “I want to, like, find that shirt I lost” or “Metallica were, like, my favorite band ever”. So every time I’d say one of those words, she’s interrupt me and I’d have to say the sentence again, without using “like”. After awhile, your brain gets sick of being interrupted all the time and you stop saying them. It worked for a good two or three years. They’ve crept back into my vocab, and my writing, but I aim to remedy this!
Yes, you read correctly. You’re probably not blind, but you could learn Braille anyway. First, you learn to read the dots with your eyes and interpret them as letters, and then you learn contractions “ed” and “and” and “st”, etc. It’s super easy, like learning a secret code, and will make trips in elevators more fun.
Also, you learn something of what it would be like to lose one of your senses. You understand that, no matter what happens to you, the world keeps turning, and dragging you with it. You can survive anything.
For the same reasons above.
If you’re feeling lonely and self-conscious, why not hide your face with a mask? If you want to hide away, hide behind a wall of latex or leather or sequins or lace. You can find venetian masks at Masquerade Magic or cyber masks at Obscuria.
You know exercise is good for you, and it makes you feel good. So exercise! Run around the block, do star jumps in the living room. Find the local ice-skating rink or rock climbing wall, hike through the park, practise yoga, salsa dancing or burlesque (you can find lots of free lessons on youtube).
I am legally blind. I can barely see three feet in front of my face. Yet I love archery. Strutting around with a massive bow and arrows in your quivver feels awesome. I’m constantly posing like I’m in Lord of the Rings. Archery takes concentration, a steady hand and a keen eye (or a good spotter). It’s a sport you do outdoors, rain or shine, by yourself or with a friend. There’s no shouting, no balls flying everywhere, no team rivalry … just you and a bow and your own internal challenges.
Change your voicemail message to something hilarious. Mine says “Hello, you’ve reached Steff’s cell. Unfortunately, I can’t come to the phone right now, as I’m preparing for the imminent zombie apocalypse. If you’re listening to this, I suggest you find yourself a sharp implement and head to your nearest shopping mall.” All the messages I receive begin with the callers giggling.
Go to a religious service of a religion you don’t belong to and don’t believe in, (only if this is allowed and you’re not offending anyone). Really embrace the experience with an open mind and try to learn something about who these people are, who they believe in and how their faith affects their everyday life.
Make yourself a pair of stilts. All you need are two sturdy planks or wood, and two wooden squares to act as footholds. Bolt / nail / glue the squares to the wooden planks, sand down the rough edges and practise your high walking!
Operation Beautiful‘s mission is to put up annoymous notes in public places for other women to find. The notes say “you are beautiful” and give the Operation Beautiful web address. I’ve put up a few around Auckland, and I hope they made somebody’s day.
Dig out your favorites – the music that makes you feel the world is full of wonder. Play loud, sing along, dance on the bed, throw your arms around, headbang, smash something, slow dance with your cat. My feel-good favorites: Metallica – Ride the Lightning, Iron Maiden – Seventh Son of a Seventh Son, Manowar – Kings of Metal, Venom – Black Metal, Arch Enemy – Doomsday Machine, Bif Naked – I Bificus, The Dresdon Dolls – Dresdon Dolls, Blind Guardian – Nightfall on Middle Earth.
Have you ever had a dream come true? I can’t describe the feeling – like everything in your whole life has lead up to that moment, and nothing will ever make you sad again.
I’ve wanted to see the Great Pyramids since I was … ooh, about seven. And when I stood there, and I touched them, and I went inside, I cried. Not very metal of me, I know. But they were more incredible than I could ever imagine. So get out there and make a lifelong dream come true.
Maybe you’ve never had a dream come true because you don’t have a dream … or you don’t think you do.
Write a list of things you wish you could do before you die. Keep the list nearby you and ad items to it constantly. Even write down the dreams you have for other people. Do you want to see your child succeed or your partner quit their job and pursue a lifelong passion? Add that to the list, too.
You’ll discover certain items on the list tug at your heart-strings more than others. These are your dreams. Knowing what they are is your first step to achieving them.
Whatever it might be. I am partial to eating Tim Tams and watching Dr. Phil, or listening to the Rasmus. Be proud to be silly.
Don’t go for the normal pizza – see if your favorite italian or moroccan restuarant do deliveries? Will the bakery send you out a fresh-baked loaf? Bask in the glory of ringing someone up and having hot food arrive on your doorstep. It’s a womderful world we live in.
Dress up like a tourist (shorts, shirt, camera, “bum bag”, ridiculous hat, guidebook in back pocket) and go do something really touristy: whale-watching, the tourist bus tour, or go to the over-priced amusements. Talk loudly, take hundreds of photos.
Find all the clothes in your wardrobe you don’t really like and attack them with hundreds of studs and spikes. I bet you like them better now, right?
Buy a silly instrument – a harmonica, a tin whistle, a recorder, a djambje, anything as long as it’s inexpensive and makes noise. Be loud and enthusiastic in your playing.
Make a “feel happy” soundtrack of your favorite songs, and stick it on your MP3 player. Put on your favorite walking clothes. Walk to your local park or river, stopping at the dairy on the way to pick up a loaf of bread. Walk through the park listening to your favorite songs, a find a good stop to sit down a throw morsels of bread to the ducks and geece.
Ducks are my favorite animals, besides cats. Ducks have it all – they can float, they can swin, they can fly and they can waddle adorably.
Find a secret place. Your secret place should be high up, with a great view. Look for tall trees in the park, abandoned buildings with easily-scaled roofs, or unknown nooks and niches above bridges. Take yourself there when you feel blue, listen to music or read a book and watch the city unfold around you. Be careful climbing to your secret place – falling from your favorite tree won’t cheer you up!
In the cold of winter, your feet need all the warm they can get. A pair of ridiculous slippers – shaped like dogs, penguins or Eric Adam’s loincloth – cheer you up.
Decide on new nicknames for all of your friends. Send them a text or email to let them know their new nickname, and call them that from now on. The more outrageous the nicknames, the better.
I have had many nicknames over the years: Scopes, Steffocles, Double F, Squints, Blinkin’, Blinkie Bill (I detest this), Steffy, Steffy-waffles, Titi, Dozer and Beaker (those last two gens are from my husband. Such a caring fellow.)
Nicknames make a person feel loved, like they’ve reached a new level of intimacy with you.
Changing your morning routine can alter your whole day. If you shower at night, try showering in the morning, just after you wake up. What do you eat for breakfast? DO you eat breakfast? We need to change that? Do you open the curtains? If not, open them wide! Do you get up too early? Too late? Change up your routine for a week, and measure the affects on you whole persona.
Change your alarm clock to something fun. On our epic Europe adventure we had “Morning Manowar”. I tell you, nothing makes you more excited to get up and explore castles than “Hail and Kill” at 7am.
A totem is an emblam representing a creature or object you feel a strong connection with. Carrying a totem on your person gives you the sense of being able to draw power from associating yourself with that creature. It’s a little new-agey, but I also think it’s quite metal.
My totem animals are cats, and birds – specifically ravens and ducks. We made friends with ravens in Norway, and ever since, I’ve fallen utterly in love with them.
Find a list of “what’s on in your town”, and for a week, do something new every day. Alternatively, search travel websites for reviews of off-the-beaten track things to do in your area – sometimes backpackers find the gems you’d never otherwise discover, because their hearts and minds are actively searching for those experiences.
One day I was feeling crap (I can’t remember why), and CDH snuck out of the house. He returned 20 minutes later carrying a huge box. What was inside? A lego viking ship!
We spent the afternoon making it up and having high seas viking adventures. Best. Cheering. Up. Ever.
Who are you really? What are you about? What makes you tick? What morals and beliefs do you follow?
Write yourself a personal manifesto – who you are, who you want to be and how you’re gonna get there. For more info on manifesto writing (an artform in itself) read about Nothing Elegant’s Blog Manifesto project (pssst, you’ll be hearing a lot more about this soon).
If you’re a creative type, why not see if you can sell some work online. Etsy is a great place to sell handmade crafts or vintage collections. You don’t have to try and make millions selling your work, but list a few of your best pieces and see how you go.
TIP: The key to success on Etsy (as far as I can tell) is to list lots of items, so your stuff shows up in more searches. Try to list an item a day for 30 days – you should start to see more regular sales once you have over 50-100 items in your shop (which is what I’m currently working towards). It’s only 20c to list an item, so you not going to bankrupt yourself.
Mark Twain said “the best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer somebody else up”. The man speaks truth. Call an old friend up, just to say hi. Text someone and tell them they’re awesome. Take any idea from this list and do it for someone else, instead of for yourself.
Write a Gratitude List – I do this sometimes on the blog. It’s called Up the Irons! and it’s a shout-out to everything good in life. Sometimes, when you concentrate on the bad, you forget all the little things making up the world of good.
Clean out a drawer, cupboard, desk or room you’ve filled up with stuff. Pile up old clothes and books to give to charity shops, and toss the rest away (or recycle it, if you can). You don’t need so much stuff, and having a clean desk/room/drawer feels like having a clean start. I feel instantly fresh and inspired after cleaning my eternally cluttered writing desk.
Don’t you find something oddly comforting about a live, roaring fire? My family has always had open fires blazing throughout winter – I’ve never owned a heater till I moved to Auckland and lived in a hostel. We would sit round the fire at night and eat dinner, do our homework, watch TV. Sometimes, Dad would cook crumpets or pikelets on the fire, or we’d roast marshmallows.
If you have an open fireplace, light a fire in your living room and curl up next to it with a book and a bag of marshmallows. Hot chocolate, pikelet mixture, jam and chocolates work a treat, too.
If not, can you make a fire in a drum in your backyard? (check your local law about this). Pull up a chair, a can (or horn) of mead and a steak sandwich. Taste the night air on your tongue.
A diet of highly processed foods deprives us of much-needed nutrients, and nutrients make us happy. So give yourself a nutrient feast – find your local farmers market and spend up large and the freshest, most delicious fruits and vegetables. Toss into a salad, bake into a pie, boil up in a big vat of soup, or just enjoy raw with olive oil and hummus.
You’re going to need a partner for this. Dig out all your “old school” board games – Monopoly, Hamburger (my favorite, cuz it’s about food), Mousetrap, Trouble, UNO, Blackgammen … whatever you had as a kid, and play them all. Make fairy bread and drink orange juice and wrap yourself in big blankets.
I’ve never been an advocate for this method of dealing with an issue, because you’re bound to find the issue waiting for you when you return from your sojourn.
But sometimes, you just need a break from the world. If you know you need to “get away” for a few days, really get away. Skip town, and don’t take your cell phone. Go bush. Pack your tent and billy and find a corner of the wilderness unpopulated with human life. Relish the stillness of a world untouched by urban living. In the clarity of fresh air, all your muddled thoughts sometimes become crystal clear.
I bake bread every day. EVERY DAY. I don’t use a breadmaker, or any prepackaged mix. I make bread the old-fashioned way – the way humankind has made bread for 10 000 years.
Throw away your modern conveniences and learn to make something to “old-fashioned” way. Can your own tomato pasta sauce, squeeze your own orange juice, make your own beer (I’m doing a home-brew course this year – exciting!), bake a loaf of bread from scratch … kneading that bread is theraputic, trust me.
Need I say more?
This isn’t cheap, but I guarantee it will cheer you up. Go on a hot air balloon ride.
We took a hot air balloon ride over Cappedocia in Turkey. Not cheap (wiped our Middle-East budget clear out) but worthwhile. I never expected the sensation of being inside a hot-air balloon to feel like it did – everything is still. You can’t feel wind. You just hang, and bob along. You can hear everything happening on the streets below. Amazing
Maybe it’s just a New Zealand thing, but nothing says relaxing and good times like going to the beach.
Go to a deserted beach – they’re easy to find if you know where to look. Pack a picnic lunch. Roll the legs of your pants up and run through the surf. Clamber over the rocks and find little fishies in the tide pools. Build a sandcastle. Watch the sun set over the water.
If you feel lonely, give part of your home to an animal without one. Every day, the SPCA and other animal shelters rescue hundreds of unwanted, neglected pets, and if no one comes to adopt them … you know what happens. It’s shameful and we should all do our bit for these animals.
Scientists have proven stroking a cat enduces healing and reduces feelings of lonliness and anxiety. Pets love unconditionally, and they always know just what to do to make you laugh.
Who thought up such a ridiculous idea? And yes, as silly as karaoke seems, it’s immensly popular and lots of fun.
Can’t sing? Neither can anyone else. Just do the best you can. Ham it up, be OTT ridiculous. Death growl if you have to.
Wait until fireworks go on sale in November, and stock up on these little packets of joy. Bring out a few sparklers to light up your BBQs over summer, or just dance around the backyard when you feel a little feral. Spell naughty words in the air, have a dual against a tree, or just pretend you are a fire fairy. Sparklers rule.
Find your nearest ice cream parlour, and order the largest, most ridiculous sundae on their menu. Eat it all. Don’t feel guilty.
Or, better yet, make your own concoction at home. Give it a hilarious name, like “Steff’s Epic Metal Sundae Mountain of Doom”, cover it in whipped cream, frosting, crumbled biscuits, cut-up Mars bars, nuts, sprinkles, chocolate chips, cherries, bananas, blueberries, sauce, fudge, sherbert and anything else you can think of. Eat it all. Don’t feel guilty.
Go to the library or a second-hand bookshop and find some of those series books from the nineties: the ones you undoubtedly read: The Baby-Sitters Club, Sweet Valley High, Pony Club, Goosebumps, Fear Street. Read them all again. Damn, weren’t they terribly awesome?
CDH and I are taking German classes at a nearby high school. It costs us $89 for seven 2 hour lessons, with all materials included. The school runs classes in everything: from burlesque dancing to Metalworking to Indian cooking. They are cheap, they are run by enthusiastic, experienced teachers, they are filled with interesting people, they enable you to learn new skills. In short – community classes are awesome.
Buy yourself a fancy notebook, and a nice pen. I love Black Spot Books and Bibliographica who handbind journals they’ve created using recycled leather and found materials. I also like Immortal Longing’s Shakespeare-inspired journals. Lots of people adore Moleskeine journals, but I honestly don’t see the difference between them and any other notebook.
What will you use your notebook for? Oh, the possibilities!
Open your gig guide, close your eyes, and point. That’s where you’re going tonight. Dress inappropriately, and make the best of it.
Find your local observatory or planetarium. Show up for one of their evening lectures – they normally set up telescopes so you can look at celestial bodies. Better yet, take a course in astronomy. Amaze yourself at just how busy it is out there.
My clever husband can navigate a boat by the stars.
If you can spare the dough, buy new sheets and a duvet for your bed. Find something completely luxurious in a your favorite colour. Make Over your bed, and you make over your sleep.
You know all those random “friends of friends’ who keep adding you on Facebook? Strike up a conversation with one of them. You know you already have something in common, and they added you so they can’t think your a serial killer or anything. Who knows, a “friend of a friend” might turn into an actual friend.
By Yourself. Yes, go out on a “typical” date all by yourself. Eat at your favorite restuarant (and don’t bring a book. You don’t need to distract yourself from your own company), and then go to a movie you really want to see. Buy yourself all the treats YOU want to eat, sit wherever you want (I love sitting right in the front row, and I fold all the armrests up and lie down. Cushiney!)
Write someone a love letter in chalk on the steps up to their apartment or the pavement outside their flat. Use several colours. Hide and watch their reaction when they see it.
Pull all the liquer bottles out of your cabinet and line then up on the bench. Now, go to the fridge and pull out all the liquids and fruits. Do the same with the pantry. Now, line up all your shot glasses and start mixing! You’re searching for the perfect signature cocktail. This involves lots of taste-testing. Be daring, be crazy. Give your drink a wacky name.
This is an excellent way to use all those liquer bottles people have left with half a centimetre of liquid inside.
Road trips kick ass. A car, good music, an adventure, bad food, what more could you want? I love a trip when you know roughly where you’re going, but you don’t have a specific schedule, so you can stop and look at random things on the way. On the last road trip I went on – up to a campsite by a lake – we stopped to take air-guitar pictures outside a picturesque white chapel in the middle of a rolling field. Next, we made faces underneath a duck-crossing sign.
It could be anything – I collect miniature trinket boxes (I want to start collecting pill or snuff boxes exclusively), and fossils, and I used to collect locks of hair. CDH collects vintage books about trains. I have a friend who collects typewriters, another who collects statues of elephants.
Once you’ve decided on your collection, spend hours scouring eBay or Amazon and making a huge wishlist of all the items you want to add to your collection. You probably can’t afford to buy them all, but maybe splash out on just one.
Owing people money stresses me out. I feel like a failure if I haven’t budgeted accordingly to be able to pay for something in cash, or I have to borrow money from a friend.
So sit down and make a plan. Many people find great success in Dave Ramsey’s “Debt Snowball” plan: you write a list of all your debts in order of how much money is left on them. You make sure you’re paying the minimum on each, except for the one with the least amount left to pay back. You throw everything else you’ve got at that payment, and as soon as you’ve paid it off, you throw everything at the next smallest, and so on. It’s not the most cost-effective way (if one of your larger payments has a much higher interest rate) but most of debt repayment is about staying focused, and it’s hard to stay focused if you don’t see any results. Getting rid of each payment is like a little present for all your hard work – you stay motivated.
You can buy a decent-sized paddling pool at the Warehouse or Para rubber or whatever the equivelent house-of-plastic-crap is in your country. Fill it with water (warm or hot) and bubble bath. Pour yourself a glass of wine and have your own private paddle spa in your backyard. I like to do this at night when you can see the stars.
You might have realised by now, I’m a big fan of celebrating random and made-up holidays. I’ve written before about remembering Dimebag Darryl and having a metal Christmas, but I’m sure you can think of lots of ideas for random or made-up holidays.
Celebrate the birthdays of your favorite writers, musicians and artists. Celebrate crazy religious holidays – Gala Darling wrote about celebrating Holi – a hindi festival where everyone throws coloured powder over everyone else. It looks like the most fun ever.
On a couple of occasions I’ve had to let go of friends who were hurting me. They were good friends and good people and I loved them and didn’t realise what a negative effect they had on my life, until it was too late. Sometimes, loving someone isn’t enough, when they expect you to carry them too.
Let go of the people who cause you pain. Set them free to find themselves. Be the hero – be the person brave enough to say “this isn’t working and it has to end.” Letting those people go was like a huge weight lifting from my chest.
I’m a firm believer that if the friendship is meant to be, it will come back, stronger than ever. And ending a friendship doesn’t undo all the wonderful, amazing good times and experiences you had together.
Choose a culture or time period you don’t know anything about, but have always been fascinated with, and start reading books and websites. Whether you choose ancient Egypt, Communist Russia, Imperial China, the Maori or the Inuit, start a love affair with another time or place.
Bake a cake for a friend, or for your colleagues at work. For no reason, except “just because”. I find the act of baking theraputic – no matter what’s going on in the world, you still stir the batter, lick the bowl, and make your house smell amazing. Plus, you get to surprise someone with cake.
I love hugs – they’re my favoritest thing in the whole world. If you hug someone (a friend, a parent, a lover, a stranger), chances are, they’ll hug you back. Yay, hugs for everyone!
TIP: If you ever meet me, give me a hug. I will love you forever.
Even if no one else cares, even if no one in the whole wide world wants to listen to you moan or growl or cry or scream or laugh or sob or growl or smile – I do. Shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org – I always answer, even if it takes me a few weeks to reply (I get a LOT of email these days)
Phew! I’m all out of ideas now. What do you do to cheer yourself up?
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