Thanksgiving is coming up for all you wacky American folks. Personally, I don’t know how you deal with another huge family holiday so close to Christmas, but there you are: baking your pumpkin-filled pie, pumpkin-filled turkey and pumpkin-filled malt whisky and musing on people and things and events which make you feel truly grateful.
A grattitude holiday – now that’s something special. We have a few new Americans on staff at the Foundation and they hosted a thanksgiving lunch for us all today. Pumpkin soup, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin dip and several different pumpkin pies. I’ve never had pumpkin pie before, and I’ve been missing out!
Instead of an Up the Irons! post this week, here are 25 things you might be thankful for this Thanksgiving, or really everyday, if you are a metalhead:
1. Gravity – the often underappreciated force that keeps us where we are today.
2. Manowar – for standing up to false metal.
3. The Ancient Greeks – for inventing everything from to democracy to cutlery to clockwork to philosophy.
4. The Ancient Romans – for kicking the ass of the Ancient Greeks so we wouldn’t all have to wander around in flimsy skirts philosophising all day. Also, for inventing toilet paper, which back then was simply a sponge on a stick, but hey, you’ve gotta start somewhere.
5. Metallica – they may have put out some lackluster albums in recent years, but without them I might never have discovered metal, and this blog might never have been written.
6. The death of Hair Metal – and may it forever remain a distant spandex-glad, permed-hair nightmare.
7. Sausage Rolls – what heavy metal gathering would be complete without them?
8. Drinking Horns – Ditto. Cheers for the tip, Vikings!
9. WordPress blog software – for making my life easier.
10. Electricity – not only does it send vicious criminals to a smouldering death, it powers our instruments, enabling us to play tr00 kvlt kreig grymm evil black metal.
11. Tarja Turunen – for giving heavy-metal soap opera fans something to obsess over.
12. genre classifications – they give us something to debate on message boards.
13. nu-metal – making rap music ever so slightly more palatable.
14. Dr Phil – for having a shiny head.
15. Germany – for giving us Blind Guardian, Kreator, and currywurst. Danke Schön!
16. Chuck Norris jokes – for uniting metalheads the world over.
17. Those pink biscuits with the sprinkles on top – because we do so love to be ironic.
18. corsets – the universal sculpter of boobies.
19. Being in love with a metalhead – you’ll never again have to fight over music in the car.
20. knock-off metal tees – cheap, metal-themed car polish cloths!
21. Death metal on your iPod – for scaring strangers on the train.
22. Ducks – the most metal creatures on earth.
23. Long-haired metal boys – don’t stop being hot!
24. Iron Maiden Merchanise – for his birthday, my friend Ryan recieved an Iron Maiden car freshener kit. I think that’s pretty much the coolest thing, ever.
25. Metalheads – Manowar said, “If you like metal, you’re my friend,” and you all take this literally. In all the world, I’ve not met more hardworking, intelligent, fun, genuine, kind or misunderstood people. I am honoured to be counted among your ranks.
What are you thankful for this week?
Yours in Metal