You’ve got this awesome idea for a blog. It’s going to be wicked. It’s going to make people laugh so hard they snort their morning mead up their nose (what? I’m the only one who has morning mead? No, I do not have a problem). Your blog is going to blow people away, it’s going to rock their world right down to the magma. It’s going to change the internet as we know it.

Or, at least, that’s the idea.

But you don’t know where to start. All the other bloggers out there are so much cooler than you. You keep hearing about all these blogging rules and you’re absolutely terrified you’ve going to mess it all up.

You’re afraid to start your blog, because people might hate it. Because you might inadvertently break the rules, and that shit’s online forever. You can’t click undo, can’t erase it. You think “What if I say something wrong, and scare all my readers away?”

But most of all, You’re scared shitless that you’ve got nothing to say at all.

You are not a blogging failure

Hi, I’m Steff, and I want to help you to blog like an awesome person.

I’ve been blogging for over five years now, and I’m going to let you in on a secret – there are no secrets.

Horrible, I know. But it’s true. What works for one person might not work for you. What destroys one person’s blog might make you into a blogging superstar.

And, I’m going to let you in on another secret. Everyone makes blogging mistakes. I’ve made my fair share, including choosing the completely wrong topic for my first blog. Yep – I got bored after six months, but it was doing so well I had to keep going. By the time I finally pulled the plug, that blog was so dull I’d driven away all my loyal readers before I even had the chance to tell them about my new,, awesomer blog.

So yeah, I know a thing or two about making mistakes. But I know even more about blogging. I’ve been a professional business blogger for the last three years. As well as tending my own blogs, I write blog posts and set up blogs for small business owners and non-profit organizations. I write blogs for people know they need a blog, but don’t – for whatever reason – have the time or skill to write their own.

But you do, because you’re awesome. And you can clearly see how rewarding blogging is, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this page. And that’s why you’re just the person who needs the Grymm & Epic Guide to Blogging.

“My mind is still boggling from the quantity of information in this ebook. But it’s not only quantity, it’s real quality as well. An ebook that will be ‘next to the computer’ for some time as some sort of a compendium, because there is so much to learn! – Totetextiles.

Inside Grymm & Epic Guide to Blogging

The Grymm & Epic Guide to Blogging doesn’t contain a list of blogging “secrets” – it simply explains what I’ve done to make my blogs – and the blogs of my clients – successful, and gives you easy-to-follow, actionable steps to do the same things. I also tell you what other people have done, and why that’s successful, and show you how to do those things, too.

I show you lots of different techniques, and give you the tools to implement and test them to figure out what works best for you. There’s no “one-size-fits-all” blogging solution that works for every blogger – no secret success formula that results in a successful blog, guaranteed. And if someone is trying to tell you there is, you have my permission to kick them in the shins.

In the Grymm & Epic Guide to Blogging, you’ll learn:

• The five things you MUST do before you even start blogging.
• Why blogs ARE NOT just for people to rant about their emo love lives.
• A step-by-step method for defining your blog’s success
• The components of a blog and how to use them to your advantage
• Detailed instructions on setting up a professional blog
• My tried-and-tested methods for quickly brainstorming blog post ideas
• How to create engaging blog posts even if you’re NOT a professional writer
• Five tips on what NOT to write about
• My methods for successfully promoting my blog.
• How to blog with ATTITUDE
• FIVE Features of a Successful Blog Post
• Over TWENTY PAGES of tips to optimize your blog for search engines.
• My in-depth analysis of the best blog platform to use.
• An entire chapter on ideas for successful blog competitions, giveaways and discounts
• A chapter on MONETIZATION, including ads, affiliates and selling your own products and shit.
• Techniques to grow your blog during the first and second years, and beyond
• Plus HUNDREDS of ideas for creating a fun, profitable and successful blog

Also, because I love surprises, in every ebook I include a FREE ebook of BONUS material. I don’t tell you what’s in this ebook, because that spoils the surprise, but I will tell you the free ebook contains over 40 pages of tips to help you further improve your blog!

I’m excited to share all my knowledge and tips with you, and I want to read the fantastic blogs you write. So what are you waiting for? It’s time to start blogging!

If you’re a blogger or thinking about becoming one then go pick up Steff’s book. It’s cute, funny and useful. What more could you want? – Kay Smoljak, Enter the Goatlady blog.

Why Grymm and Epic?

This book, like my website, is Grymm & Epic:

It’s GRYMM because you won’t find any corporate salesy stuff or “I know best” talk in this book – just honest, down-to-earth advice from a fellow businesswoman about creating and maintaining a successful blog.

It’s EPIC because it’s over 200 pages long! Yes, I wrote over 50 000 words on creating, maintaining and improving your blog. That’s a hell of a lot of words. Because I believe in giving you a valuable resource you can return to again and again.

But What if Your Ebook Sucks?

I’m pretty sure it doesn’t, but I’m assurred suckage is subjective, so you might well read the whole thing and decide it was a complete waste of money. That’s cool. I’m not gonna hold it against you.

I stand behind my products, sucky or not, so if you’re not satisfied with the Grymm & Epic Guide to Blogging, I will give you a full refund. Every cent. And this guarantee lasts a lifetime. You can email me in ten years time and say “Hey Steff, I just realised, your book is hopeless.” and I will give your money back, even if I’m a hobo and sleeping in a bucket. Although, if I’m sleeping in a bucket, I’m not sure how I’ve managed to access my email, but maybe by that time, it’s directly downloaded into my brain.

So, yeah. Lifetime guarantee. You can’t lose.

Here’s What Some Awesome People are Saying

“the fabulous Steff of Steff Metal has just published an ebook called the Grymm and Epic Guide to Blogging. Her blog is a real riot and she does all the right things including posting consistently and almost every day. Whenever she starts recommending jewellery sites and etsy stores my PayPal account starts groaning. And she went to Wacken last year, so she’s a true metal sistah, or something like that. The ebook is cheap as chips … so I picked it up because I thought it might be fun to read. Being a web developer and former SEO specialist, I’m not expecting to learn anything too radical but Steff’s writing is always so bloody enthusiastic I figure some of it might rub off on me. She promises it won’t have ‘any corporate salesy stuff or “I know best” talk’ and the few pages I’ve flicked through so far certainly support that … So if you’re a blogger or thinking about becoming one (no doubt it’s the fame, fortune and rabid fandom that’s attracting you, right?) then go pick up Steff’s book. It’s cute, funny and useful. What more could you want?

Kay Smoljak, Enter the Goatlady.

“I am amazed at the info in this ebook. Well worth the money. After reading just the first few pages I knew how to download a new background for my blog and I really LOVE the new look!! If you knew how computer “unsavy” I am you would understand what a BIG DEAL that is. Super fast service. A NEW FAVORITE!”

“My mind is still boggling from the quantity of information in this ebook. But it’s not only quantity, it’s real quality as well. An ebook that will be ‘next to the computer’ for some time as some sort of a compendium, because there is so much to learn! I received the link really quick as well. Great service!”

Totetextiles

At $37, you don’t have to sell your first born for the Grymm & Epic guide to Blogging. And there’s a lifetime guarantee. Did I mention that? I thought I did.

Here’s the button. Hop to it!

P.S. This is not a book about making money from blogging. There are plenty of ebooks about that on the market, by people who make a lot more money than me. I get that you might not actually care if your blog makes any money. I make sweet F A from steffmetal.com, and I don’t care. One little bit. This book is about how awesome blogging is and how you can make your blog even more awesome and fun and wonderful, and it might end up being so awesome and fun and wonderful that people will pay you for writing it. This book won’t teach you so much about the money-bit as the awesome-and-fun-and-wonderful bit.
P.P.S. Don’t forget that lifetime guarantee!