October 8, 2009

Top Ten Totally Metal First Date Ideas

Tr00 Metal Life

Opeth - the perfect first date music

Opeth - the perfect first date music

CDH and I never had a real “first date”. New Zealanders don’t really ‘do’ dating – we meet people through our friends, or random strangers at bars, we make shy glances at each other for awhile, we hang out as part of a group, develop a crush on said person, get drunk, hook up, and then have an awkward conversation about whether we want to make it a regular occurance.

If I had to define our first “date”, I would have to talk about two occasions. Our first “date” type occasion was before we were officially a couple: I was at home sewing a costume and enjoying an evening in when a friend txt me “We’re at shadows, heading up to Trial by Fire gig … with CDH.” Eeeeep! I couldn’t miss this! I threw on a Judas Priest shirt and some vinyl leggings (eep) and bussed into town.

The night did not dissapoint. Trial by Fire played a great set, and CDH and I headbanged side by side for nearly two hours. For their encore they played ‘The Trooper’ and the whole place went crazy. CDH grabbed me and the dude next to me and everyone in the front linked arms and headbanged across the stage. Heaven. I came home with a huge smile on my face and my heart fluttering.

My second “first date” memory was a few weeks after CDH and I started going out – and I’d talked him into going to see Opeth with me. He’d never heard them before, but he got swept along in my enthusiam and thought “what the hell.” Plus, I shouted him his ticket. He took me out for ice cream before the concert, then we met a bunch of my friends and shoved our way to the front of the pit.

I’ve read dating guides who say taking someone to a concert as a date is a HUGE no-no, but I vehermently disagree. Opeth were amazing – Mikael plays complex time-signatures while singing two different vocal styles AND looking hot at the same time. They were humble, brilliant, and hilarious. I felt like I’d been lifted to another world. Everytime I opened my eyes, there was CDH, banging his head, the same knowing glint in his eye. He got it.

That’s why I married him. Love at first headbang.

If you’re admiring that Iron Maiden t-shirt-clad hottie across the bar and you’re debating asking them on a date, think a little about where you go and what you do. You’re totally heavy metal, so even if it doesn’t work out, you want to be remembered as the person who rocked their world. Dinner and a movie ain’t gonna cut it. I’ve got ten ideas for killer first dates, Steff Metal style.

    1. Open up your local gig guide, close your eyes, and point your finger. Wherever it lands – that’s where you’re going. I don’t care if it lands on the local hip hop bar – at least you’ll be the best-dressed person there!Dress up in your best metal gear, laugh all night at the terrible music and give each other silly dares, like chat up the bartender, enter the breakdance competition and write ‘Eminem is da Rulez’ on your forehead.
    2. Visit the local museum – especially if they have any exhibits on Vikings, war or ancient history. Pack a picnic lunch and eat it on the museum steps. Afterwards, feed your leftover sandwiches to the birds. Birds are kreig.
    3. If your potential beloved is not into metal (I know, horror of horrors, but it happens), take them to a Deicide concert. If they’re not afraid of you by the end of the night, they’re a keeper.4. Take all your instruments down to the park and have an impromptu accoustic jam. CDH and I did this once with my keyboard and whistle, and his flute, bass guitar and a couple of drums. We had so much fun and so many people gathered around to listen.

    5. Go to the beach in a storm and take kreig photos posing on the rocks. Write each other’s names in runes in the sand.

    6. Bake a birthday cake on Dimebag Darryl’s birthday and eat it in bed together while watching Pantera DVDs.

    7. Invite them over to help you alphabetize your CD collection. If you’re a metalhead, you have more CDs than Hitler has enemies, so this is an all day activity. Kick your flatmates out and make steak sandwiches and drink mead and talk about music and life. Afterwards, verse each other at Guitar Hero – the loser has to run out for more beer.

    8. Build a couch fort – nuff said

    9. Dress up in your best 80s hair metal gear and hit the karaoke bar. Drink lots of rum and coke, and choose the most “metal” songs on the list to sing together. Do your best David Bowie and Axl Rose. To finish off the night, death growl to Britney Spears. Laugh together at your genius.

    10. Take your camera and explore spooky places – cemeteries, old mills, asylums, parks. Take lots of ‘kreig’ photographs. You could even take a video camera and make a movie to show your friends. Afterwards, eat pizza, play ‘truth or dare’ and go splash in a fountain.

As usual, I’m passing this top ten list over to my kvltest readers. Do you guys have any other awesome ideas for kreig metal first dates? Have you been on an amazing date? A lousy date? Share with us!

Super Snuggles and Shoggoth Kisses

12 Comments on “Top Ten Totally Metal First Date Ideas

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November 26, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Damnit I need a metalhead guy. lol
I really want to do all of these things, but metalheads are sparse in my area. :( One day! \m/

August 7, 2011 at 5:36 pm

Wow. Those are all so epic. And my first real date with my girlfriend was to the carnival in the next town over, all done up in this fakey Viking theme. I simply remember that I bought a drinking horn and got a henna tattoo of a crow like Mayhem would…
Other than that, we went on the freaky-fast rides and felt like vomiting together. And we freaked out our classmates dressed in our metal finest.

April 23, 2011 at 8:30 am

Firstly, I decidedly ignored the date on this article. I know, I am sorry.

Secondly. My “first date” consisted of an eight or nine hour bus trip to attend the Perth International Arts Festival. The trip itself involved sharing iPods STACKED with various metal bands (Hoho, love at first sight-of-music-collection) and screaming DEATH TO (insert crappy pop singer’s name here) when they came on over the radio. On a bus full of “art is pretty ponies in the springtime” type girls, this was hilarious.

We ended up in the city, went and saw paintings inspired by Goya (you know him, I’m sure?) which was awesome, fought over paying for food in the “No you do it!” sense, and stayed up all night running around the campus that was apparently once a quarantine site, where thousands of people died in the very same buildings we slept in. We also went to the Fremantle Prison and metal-gasmed all over the epicness of everything.

And that was our first date.

April 24, 2011 at 8:14 pm

@Bekk – wow, sounds like an AWESOME first date! Are you still together? (If not, can I have your number … \m/)

April 10, 2011 at 11:43 pm

This article made me laugh and smile! I loved the bit about Opeth, and those ideas seem like inventive plans I’d like to try out someday!

Comments are closed.