As part of Blog4NZ week, I’m talking about my home country and how awesome it is, and trying to encourage all you metalheads to take your next vacation over here. Yesterday, I wrote about Metal things to do in Auckland, our biggest city. Today, I’m writing about a few of the things that make our country so grymm and epic.
10 Reasons New Zealand is More Metal Than You (And Therefore, Why You Should Come and Hang Out With Us)
1. We Party Harder than You
Kiwi’s are some of the hardest workers you’ll ever meet, and when we party, we don’t do things by halves. When you travel through NZ, be prepared to be challenged to numerous drinking games, get into loud arguments about yeast-based spreads and be taken deep into our rural heartland for a drunken round of “cow-tipping”.
2. We Have More Epic Scenery
If you’re not a hiking kinda-metalhead, you’re going to miss out on the brilliance of New Zealand. We have a fairly short period of human habitation, and an even shorter period of intensive colonization, so our landscape still jutts from the ocean like a modern Jussassic Park. If you want to go on the kind of holiday where you see absolutely NO ONE for five weeks, you can do that here.
Don’t know where to start? Andy has a great post on 11 Awesome (but really remote) places in New Zealand.
3. We are cheap as chips
Unless you want to swim over, your airfare is probably going to set you back a few thousand, but once you get here, you’ll be surprised how much fun you can have for not very much. Compared to other first world countries, our exchange rate means you’ll save money on practically everything in New Zealand … food, booze, transport, accommodation … and musical instrument. Yep, if you’re in the market for a new bass guitar or metal drumkit, you probably won’t find it cheaper than over here, but good luck slipping that double bass birch babinga kit back home in your suitcase.
4. We Put on a Great Feed
If you’re invited around for drinks at someone’s place, don’t stop by the burger-shop first, because chances are, they’re put out an impressive spread of beloved kiwi food for you. We love to entertain people and fill them to bursting with good food, locally sourced, of course. If you come from Europe, try some NZ lamb, cooked on the barbie or roasted with all the trimmings. If you’re feeling a little adventurous, go in for a hangi (that’s a meal cooked in an underground pit). Try some kumara chips (it’s a sweet potato – so yum), some paua or whitebait fritters, and wash it down with a bottle of wine. For dessert – Pavlova, of course.
5. We Have Hobbits
J.R.R. Tolkien was metal. Blind Guardian say so. And now, thanks to Sir Peter Jackson, my favorite country is now intrinsically tied up in the history of my favorite books. They’re already holding elf auditions over here, but I’m holding out to be a hobbit. Hobbits are metal.
6. We hate Australians more than You Hate Emos
And, honestly, can you blame us? I mean, they talk so stupidly, they eat vegemite, their national animal is a tigger with a pocket fetish, and their beer tastes like shite. I bet even emos hate Australians.
7. We make the perfect hangover food
Some people swear by a bacon sandwich, others, a Big Mac, But you haven’t lived till you’ve stumbled down to the dairy or gas station at 7 in the morning after a hard night on the piss to pick up a mince and cheese pie.
8. We like to kill small, cuddly animals
We are definitely a country of carnivores, but intrepid barbarians will be pleased to know most New Zealanders spent a good portion of their childhood learning to kill their own dinner. Whether it’s hunting, fishing or living on a farm, most of us have a holistic, natural respect for our food and understand the process of animal to dinner. As such, we’re a nation of gun-owners, weapons-enthusiasts, and organic farmers. If you’ve ever wanted to learn how to shoot a deer, pluck a duck or BBQ sheep’s brains, we are only to happy to teach you.
9. Adrenaline is Our Drug of Choice
Just ask my parents, who pushed me off a mountain for my 13th birthday (I was attached to a glider, but still …). As my husband, who was pushed off a bridge on his 30th birthday (with a rope attached, but still …) Ask anyone who has ever rode in a car while I’ve been driving (I’m not legally allowed to drive, owing to the fact I can’t actually see past the bonnet, but still …) NZ is the home of bungy, and while you’re here, it’s paramount you participate in at least two different extreme sports. And yes, challenging one of us to a drinking competition totally counts …
10. Our National Motto is “She’ll Be Right”
Kiwis are remarkable people, and I think the Christchurch earthquake demonstrates that. We don’t let the world get to us, we know, no matter how bad things may seem, there are good times ahead. As long the beer is cheap, the roof doesn’t leak (well, for some of us, it’s a fanciful dream), the pavlova didn’t sink, and you’re surrounded by family and mates who love you, well, then nothing can really be as bad as you think.
Kiwi’s, chime in here. What makes New Zealand so awesome?