November 26, 2009

25 Things a Metalhead is thankful for

Concerts & Grog Fests, Tr00 Metal Life

Thanksgiving is coming up for all you wacky American folks. Personally, I don’t know how you deal with another huge family holiday so close to Christmas, but there you are: baking your pumpkin-filled pie, pumpkin-filled turkey and pumpkin-filled malt whisky and musing on people and things and events which make you feel truly grateful.

A grattitude holiday – now that’s something special. We have a few new Americans on staff at the Foundation and they hosted a thanksgiving lunch for us all today. Pumpkin soup, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin dip and several different pumpkin pies. I’ve never had pumpkin pie before, and I’ve been missing out!

Instead of an Up the Irons! post this week, here are 25 things you might be thankful for this Thanksgiving, or really everyday, if you are a metalhead: 

1. Gravity – the often underappreciated force that keeps us where we are today.

2. Manowar – for standing up to false metal.

3. The Ancient Greeks – for inventing everything from to democracy to cutlery to clockwork to philosophy.

4. The Ancient Romans – for kicking the ass of the Ancient Greeks so we wouldn’t all have to wander around in flimsy skirts philosophising all day. Also, for inventing toilet paper, which back then was simply a sponge on a stick, but hey, you’ve gotta start somewhere.

5. Metallica – they may have put out some lackluster albums in recent years, but without them I might never have discovered metal, and this blog might never have been written.

6. The death of Hair Metal – and may it forever remain a distant spandex-glad, permed-hair nightmare.

7. Sausage Rolls – what heavy metal gathering would be complete without them?

8. Drinking Horns – Ditto. Cheers for the tip, Vikings!

9. WordPress blog software – for making my life easier.

10. Electricity – not only does it send vicious criminals to a smouldering death, it powers our instruments, enabling us to play tr00 kvlt kreig grymm evil black metal.

11. Tarja Turunen – for giving heavy-metal soap opera fans something to obsess over.

12. genre classifications – they give us something to debate on message boards.

13. nu-metal – making rap music ever so slightly more palatable.

14. Dr Phil – for having a shiny head.

15. Germany – for giving us Blind Guardian, Kreator, and currywurst. Danke Schön!

16. Chuck Norris jokes – for uniting metalheads the world over.

17. Those pink biscuits with the sprinkles on top – because we do so love to be ironic.

18. corsets – the universal sculpter of boobies.

19. Being in love with a metalhead – you’ll never again have to fight over music in the car.

20. knock-off metal tees – cheap, metal-themed car polish cloths!

21. Death metal on your iPod – for scaring strangers on the train.

22. Ducks – the most metal creatures on earth.

23. Long-haired metal boys – don’t stop being hot!

24. Iron Maiden Merchanise – for his birthday, my friend Ryan recieved an Iron Maiden car freshener kit. I think that’s pretty much the coolest thing, ever.

25. Metalheads – Manowar said, “If you like metal, you’re my friend,” and you all take this literally. In all the world, I’ve not met more hardworking, intelligent, fun, genuine, kind or misunderstood people. I am honoured to be counted among your ranks.

What are you thankful for this week?

Yours in Metal

6 Comments on “25 Things a Metalhead is thankful for

September 25, 2012 at 7:46 pm

My best friend is a total metalhead! Love him like a brother! (Not saying Im not a metalhead!) I have been bugging out about what to get him for his birthday! If you have any ideas, message me on Twitter (THIS IS AN OLD USERNAME! IVE BEEN TOO LAZY TO CHANGE IT!!!!) @TrueBelieberGal

Christy John
February 17, 2012 at 12:31 am

Hi Hi.. What a coincidence. I am just now hearing the Ghost Reveries album right now. I am compiling the best songs from Opeth for my iPod and I think there is nothing to leave out from this album. Also saw them live last week. My first live show. Opeth @ Summerstorm festival, bangalore.

November 27, 2009 at 5:38 am

So thankful for Twisted Metal – my passion… and sanity… and thankful that I can eat MEAT and rise above anything thats thrown my way and glad for the assurance that my kids are 3 of the most honest, loyal and awesome human beings on this planet. :-) and for friends who luff us for who we are! lml

November 26, 2009 at 6:20 pm

@Corrine: I love when wonderful boys ring you in the middle of concerts :) Especially Opeth concerts.

I saw them four years ago on the Ghost Reverie tour. Love. They’re amazing. Opeth is definitely something to be thankful for \m/

November 26, 2009 at 4:25 pm

I looove this post…I can def relate to a lot of them…most preciously, “being in love with a metal head” for which I’m definitely thankful for :) This post was ultra witty, and it has made a follower out of me! Keep on rockin’ girl :)

x Corrine/Frock & Roll x
November 26, 2009 at 1:16 pm

Love <3 At the moment, I'm thankful for Opeth! They played in Australia this week, and although I couldn't attend, my boyfriend very sweetly called me at random intervals during the concert so that I could hear them! :D I think they're a-w-e-s-o-m-e. I'm listening to 'The Drapery Falls' at the moment, and it is SO good!

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