July 9, 2009

The Heavy Metal Lifestyle 101

Steff, Tr00 Metal Life

I grew up in a tiny town on the east coast of New Zealand. My working-class parents toiled hard to give us everything we needed and wanted. I was bullied in school. I moved away to uni, got a degree and a job making Braille books for blind people. I met a dude and married him. I like writing, hanging out with my friends, dressing up, listening to music and eating chocolate.

Boy howdy, do I sound like a ridiculously boring person? Why are you even reading the blog of such a hopeless sod? Are you hanging out for my fashion editorial on grey cardigans or my thrilling exposé on the dangers of self-locking door-handles?

Sorry to disappoint. Fuck grey cardigans. I’m heavy fucking metal.

Me looking kreig with my sword - band photoshoot, 2007

Me looking kreig with my sword – band photoshoot, 2007

I live heavy metal; I eat, sleep and drink heavy metal. I write metal, dress metal, and on my weekends, I bang my head to metal. If you were to look up metal in an illustrated dictionary, you’d see a photograph of me kissing Lemmy on his warty cheek.

There are plenty of blogs online about metal music, but they’re only telling half the story. For people like me, my husband, and our friends, metal is more than music – its part of who we are.

You could compare me to hip hop and the ‘thug’ lifestyle, except I swear less and dress better, or emos and their, ‘Everyone-hates-me-lets-all-shop-at-hot-topic-and-cry-ourselves-to-sleep’, except … wait, no. Don’t ever compare me to an emo.

So what exactly is the heavy metal lifestyle? Well, I’m writing this blog to discuss that very thing. Metal means different things to different people – I’m not the authority on what is or isn’t metal. Most of the time, you’ll probably find me all too positive and huggy to be considered adequately metal. That’s fine. I don’t personally believe that metal and hugs are disparate entities.

To me, living metal is waking up each morning with a song on your lips and a blastbeat in your heart. Heavy metal is not music that sits in the background – and neither should you. To be metal is to be a person who stands for something, no matter how inane, stupid or dorky it seems to other people. Be true to yourself. Be the beast that cannot die.

So even though not everything I talk about on this blog may seem to be strictly metal (I also love Snoopy and the GIlmore Girls and the aforementioned hugs), rest assured everything you read here is written in the spirit of heavy metal.

Super Snuggles and Shoggoth Kisses

13 Comments on “The Heavy Metal Lifestyle 101

September 24, 2014 at 5:27 am

Good job guy
Keep It METAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adnan Ahmed
April 1, 2013 at 12:34 am

I loved reading it! After so many years, I came to realize that…I am heavy metal!

I wrote a small piece today, would love to know your opinion :)

Raven Valentine
November 9, 2012 at 5:00 am

Even as a cold hearted brother of Trve Kvlt BM i gotta say the comment about the hugs is totally true keep up the good work!!!

\M/ HORNS UP!!! \M/

November 12, 2012 at 1:08 pm

@Raven Horns – and hugs – up \m/

December 29, 2010 at 9:28 am

Very cool blog, but as far as swearing, I think metalheads can even win that battle. Keep it brutal \m/

December 26, 2010 at 4:15 pm

@Salvatore – I will ALWAYS answer a comment as sweet and metal as that. I hope you hang around the blog so we can talk more about metal and hugs :)
\m/ Steff

December 25, 2010 at 4:12 pm

I’m an italian boy and i know that maybe you will never answer to this comment… however, i’d like to tell you a thing about this (old…) post you wrote…

” don’t personally believe that metal and hugs are disparate entities.

To me, living heavy metal is waking up each morning with a song on your lips and a blastbeat in your heart.”

well, when i read this things many months ago, they entered in my heart.
I think you are right… metal and hugs aren’t disparate entities and when you are heavy metal, well, you ALWAYS have a song in your lips, heart and mind…

Stay metal :)

November 9, 2010 at 12:23 pm


I’m not a heavy metal dude but I was doing a oral in my english class about heavy metal people and dress like you guys for a day and it help me a lot to understand what you guys can go throught.I just wanna say thx for this blog and thx for everything ^^

November 15, 2010 at 1:04 am

@Carlos Did you really? That’s AWESOME. What a cool project – I hope you had fun dressing like us, and we’d love to have you in the “metal ranks” one day, if you ever develop a taste for Iron Maiden. I would love to hear more about it! email me at steff AT steffmetal DOT com.

July 10, 2009 at 1:56 pm

I love that sword two. Good for husband beating.

This shoot was for my husbands band, which he had to quit in order for us to go to Europe. I wasn’t actually in the band (having no musical talent whatsoever apart from a few tootlings on the tin whistle) but I was the manager and took most of the photos on this shoot. Their lead singer snapped this one of me and it’s pretty much my favorite photo ever.

I’ve been listening to Sylvus on your myspace page. Pretty fucking epic!

(Check them out at


Anastasia, Heavy Metal Fashion
July 10, 2009 at 6:59 am

Sweet Fucking jacket dude!

and I love the sword…

What’s your band called/what do you play?

I play guitar in a Symphonic/Epic BM band called Sylvus…

Our photoshoot was in pretty fuckin cool…we had a goat skull.


Horns Up!


July 9, 2009 at 6:26 pm

Aw, thanks dude. I agree totally – I love blogging but I wanted to write about more than just weddings (fun as they are). Now it’s all Steff, all the time :)

I love reading your blog too :) I’m definitely doing #spammersunday this week. It’s a great idea!

A Gothic Gentleman
July 9, 2009 at 6:02 pm

I’ve followed you on wedding skulls for a while and was wondering what Steff and her crew would be like and am glad that you have started this blog. You are doing something similar to what I am doing with Gothic Gentleman, everyone sees the cliched images of our genres, by doing a day to day blog we are dispelling the myths in a small way! Keep the good work up!

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