August 18, 2009

Heavy Metal Norwegian Phrasebook

Grymm and Frostbitten Lands, Metalheads Who Read, Tr00 Metal Life

Every metalhead knows there are only three true metal languages: Norwegian, German and Orcish. So to help you on your path to ultimate metaldom, I’ve compiled this list of handy metal phrases in Norwegian. Most of these were pilfered from threads on the Wacken forum archives page, so head over there if you’re interested in learning more.

Gaahl, vocalist for the Norwegian black metal band Gorgoroth

Gaahl, vocalist for the Norwegian black metal band Gorgoroth

Below I’ve listed a selection of delightful phrases you need to know to speak fluent heavy metal Norwegian. (Warning, contains some coarse language)

General Phrases

God morgen = Good Morning

Ka e klokka? = What’s the time?

Skjitbra = really good (shite-good)

Dødsrått = Even better (Death-raw)

Gi meg en øl kjære venn = Bring me beer dear friend!

Hvordan har du det? = How are you doing?

Jeg må spy… = I’ve got to puke …

Kor i hælvete e dassen?? = Where the hell is the toilet? (Usually needed quite quickly)

Faen hvor dyrt det er da! = Fuck, it is so expensive! (said every day while visiting Norway)

Bakrus = Hangover

Fyllesjuk = Really bad hangover

Full = Drunk

Dritafull = Dead drunk

Vann (usually said early in the morning) = WATER!!! NOW!

Har du no mat? = Do you got anything (i) can eat?

Crowd waiting for Wolf at Bloodstock 2007. Photo by I is Ashby

Crowd waiting for Wolf at Bloodstock 2007. Photo by I is Ashby

Festival Talk

Du er søt = You’re pretty

Du er drit pen = You’re really pretty

Mitt eller ditt telt? = mine or your tent?

Kor faen e telte mitt?? = Where the hell is my tent

Du lukter noe inn i helvete vondt = You smell bad

Gi faen i å snike i køen = Get back in line

Har du en øl? = Did you got a beer for me?

Skål for faen = Cheers\Proost for the devil!

Hvor er dassen? = Wheres the toilet?

Jeg elsker deg = I love you

Fest = Party

Jeg ikke har en øl = I don’t have a beer. Too bad :(

The opposite sex

For ei dame = What a woman!

Klø mæ på ryggen = Would you scratch my back?

Ikke bit = Don’t bite!

Kæm spælle no? = Who’s playing now?

Vil du værra me mæ heim? = Do you want to go come with me to my home?

Du har nydelige øyne = you have beautiful eyes

Du lukter så godt = you smell really good

Du er så annerledes = you are so different from everybody else (a sure winner..)

Jeg spanderer en øl = i’ll buy you a beer

Jeg blir så glad når jeg ser deg = I become happy when I see you

Jeg har sett på deg i hele kveld = I have been watching you all night

Du er nydelig = you are gorgeous!

Insults and Swearwords

Perkele! = Devil. Best swear word in world by popular vote. Use this as often as possible, no matter what the situation. Perkele can be put in the middle of any phrase to add strength.

Hestkuk = Horsedick

Kukhode\Kukhue = Dickhead

Faen\fanden = the Devil

Hold Kjeft \ klapp igjen = Shut up

Dra til Helvete = Go to hell

Kyss mæ i ræva = Kss my ass

kveithau = big flat fish’s head (usually used about some idiot)

Remember folks, this list is just for a giggle. Please don’t go around calling people ‘kveithau’ and ‘Kukhode’. No one deserves to be insulted, in any language.

We’ve arrived in Calais in one piece (for a given value of one) and are on our way up to Scandinavia. I shall keep you updated on how many useful Norwegian metal phrases we manage to utelize whilst in Norway. If you can think of any others, please let me know!

Super Snuggles and Shoggoth Kisses

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